Colorado.

I lived in Aurora till I was 25, my family is scattered all over the state..and the history channel rehashing 911 all week got me thinking, and doing some rehashing of my own, and I can't really understand why so many tradegic things seem to happen in Colorado...massive media spread instant gut wrenching tragedies. Jon Benet Ramsy had the worlds attentions for months I was in high school when the case was going on around here.. only to quickly be over shadowed by what locally and soon very globally was a way bigger issue..Columbine high school. Then for a long time the focus finally wasn't on "us" and the 911 stuff went down, then Katrina, to name the big ones..but all over again we have it coming back to Colorado, a known serial killer murder women gets talked about a lot, then the insane summer of wildfire along with the Dark Knight shootings. So..is it the lack of altitude making brain cells severly depleted around here, or the fact that Colorado means "colored Red" ... I'm not trying to take away from the masses of horrible things that happen all over the world, the amounts of service members that give there lives, the poverty, disease and murder i feel for everyone...but come on you have to take note about the fact that when something goes down in Colorado it gets big FAST it gets stars and a telethon and the president speaks. Lil odd.... On a lighter note...if u look up the bad things done in Colorado all the way back to the Sandhill massacre, u primarily see that it's younger Colorado males.. That completely lose there minds. So when choosing ur zombie survival partner you do know that they know their way around a weapon...

Everything!

I am taking over the world. One cupcake, home selling, ebaying, day at a time. I have enterered into so many new events lining things up for me to do, not so much for the money aspect just for the sense of accomplishing things. Making cupcake by the hundred for people's events, cakes, food, one day I wanna open a restaurant. I am going back to school I meet up with the dean next week, I am doing three different personal sales projects, and about to start another one this weekend I think. Trying to keep myself busy and make my future better..then June 22 when my life starts for real forever! Been broken for like 4 months now, finally getting my surgeries I needed time to heal up. I am feeling the summer rush, I feel like all new resolutions start now for me, I am definitely a summer baby haha

Congrats to My new sis Stacy who is having a baby boy this July, my brother Tommy and his GF Kim having a baby girl Chloe Middle of April, Noah turns 7 next week, my brother Sean is doing well and moving forward in his adult hood also haha finally, my BFF Mykel had a lil boy Shane last month, everyone is growing up, I'm so glad I have so many ppl I get to grow with. Gotta love my honey badger!

Notice that I don't have pics up lately? Hmmm guess I'll have to call my good friend at http://www.lauraenrightphotography.com/ growing in her photography biz when she is big and famous I am proud to name drop her. Love u laur bear ;)

Fidelity and Regret..?

Oh to say ignorance is bliss is an understatement... The things we put eachother thru in life will never amount to the pain u cause instill in someone for a lifetime when u play them..especially when ur married.. But other times too. To agree to be together forever and to be betrayed is a fatal cut.. When u have conformation in writing from ur spouse to their intended saying they are/were looking for divorce. When compatibility with a stranger becomes important enough to risk a marriage. 80% of in fidelity occurs with a collegue..hmmm and the rest? What do i need to look for..maybe i shouldnt look..i would feel safer having never known the things i have uncovered.. All of my past relationships..well except one. I ask but the answers are never true or by the time i ask dont feel..worthy of belief. ....Why hide and lie, if it's as bad as all that at home why deny that ur eyes look to someone else? To keep a leash on the spouse? Cause u know ur mate is better then the cheat..and u just wanna go for the hunt to see if u can have them? If they think of u too? Was is just a slip...drunk mistake? Out of anger? Or was it repeat..are things oh idk "meh at best"q ? Is there more that isn't seen, when one has had things hidden from the beginning, told to ur face they would never come clean...what is to be believed then? Was I ever enough...were u single cause u were thinking of her? Hmm words from u both 'there wasn't closure' if I wasn't in the picture would it be her on ur side or is there closure now? Why did I have to have u to see u weren't done with her?....now I am gone will you miss me like u do/did her..and if so, why? Will u write me and deny ur current girl to see if i miss u too? We are but "meh..." then why would it matter what happens to us..
All the things you've said in anger..called, suggested, accused...did u do that to her to or is that special for me? Hahah oh I think I know the answer to that. Even when the dust has settled there is so many things that can never be taken back. Why add to it with demeaning insults of ppl...why would u call me that? If i am that why waste ur time lying to me, fighting me to stay, or concede to ur point..if im soo...worthless then dont hold in. So many moments I have spent hating the girls that are in the minds of the men I loved...thinking horrid things about them..but their not the ones who gave me their word. If you loved me even in our fights ud know it's gonna be ok, it's gonna be u and me, and the compatibility of another girl wouldn't matter, why would the compatibility of a friend or shoulder to cry on matter? I read it too..sounds so promising. I'm sure ud be better off. Why don't u follow thru on that..
I'd rather see the person love run off and live happily ever after with the person I was betrayed for then live a life wondering if he is
wondering what it'd be like over there..cause that's what it's caused every time. Wonder.

One day I'll be smiling, in love and cherished, protected....and when that smile isn't for you will I matter to you then?

(this is a general post about several relationships siting a few rare specifics but not generalizing to any certain person. If u saw something and it is something to u did do then good for u, it's effected me deeply)

R 2 mmeeee 2

I am usually not all crazy over game consoles but this definitely spoke to my inner nerd! I cant wait for this to come out! R2D2 xbox C3pO controller WITH Kinect! beep beep boo bop bop! haha It is Limited Edition within a month or two should be out on the shelves, just in time for chritmas!

"Help me Obi-Wan your my only hope!" <3

...the end...

i have been interested in things i am not normally interested in lately..the 7 wonders on the world, do u even know what they are? cause there really isnt even just seven. the perspective has changed so much over the years there is dozens now, all are very respectable and deserve to be listed for sure though.. my fav definitely being 'Hagia Sophia' going there would be amazing! and then watched 'eat pray love' yesterday and it made me think of things not concerning myself and i think i took it in the wrong direction. the amount of things in this world to be terrified of goes far beyond broken hearts and bills, the i.r.s lol and car accidents...watching disney oceans was terrifying and i dunno if ur allowed to say this but fuck disney! for starters water covers over 70% of our planet, there is no way to glass half full that shit for yah we are a freakin buoy waiting to get sucked under and there are thousands of things ready to eat us. the blue whale..110ft long, 200 tons of pure i will eat your ass. then theres these other beastly things on land, spiders, wars, presidents, volcanoes, earthquakes, floods, and hurricanes, and then things like the continental divide and the possibility of an incident like pangea again. the mayan's telling us 2012 is it, and then all the sudden natural disasters galore! ugh so many monsters under the bed... the boy in the bubble had the right idea but it needs to be fire proof, recession proof, water proof, idiot proof, have a force field to protect from giant beasts and cell phone reception!

LOVE IT OR DIE

so in making my playlist i found out that i am like everyone in the fact that i cant pick the right ones cause theres sooo many good ones so heres MORE!


1] secrets - one republic
2] champagne supernova- oasis
3] just a girl- no doubt
4] jeremy - pearl jam
5] hold on - wilson phillips
6] crossroads- bone thugs-n-harmony
7] so lonely - twista and mariah
8] Juvenile - I Know You Know
9] far behind- candlebox
10] kryptonite- 3 doors down
11] local god- everclear
12] love fool - the cardigans
13] helena- my chemiacla romance
14] mr. brightside- the killers
15] i miss u- blink ;)
16] where'd you go-fort minor

the promised playlist.

my fav songs . haha for now

1] this years love- david gray
2] i cross my heart- george strait
3] ooh ahh- grits
4] trying to find a balance- atmosphere
5] baby- justin beiber
6] strawberry fields forever- the beatles
7] chicago- glory of love
8] say goodbye- chris brown
9] space bound- eminem
10] need you now- lady antebellum
11] grandpa- the judds
12] la la la- LMFAO
13] you and me- lifehouse
14] collide- howie day
15] all for you- sister hazel
16] promise- eve 6
17] billie jean- michael jackson
18] like a prayer- madonna

and of course the previous blog "takin my air"